The moments it shows up
It's not just dinner parties. It's the interview where someone asks you to walk them through your experience, and you find yourself describing the programme instead of what you did in it. It's the conversation with your parents where you try, again, to explain what you actually do. The networking event outside the sector where you lead, with the acronym and watch someone's eyes glaze over—the family gathering where you end up describing the whole backstory to get to the point.
We get stuck in that world. The jargon, the acronyms, the exact names of the stakeholders we're working with. If your organisation works with members, partners, or country offices, you know what those words mean.
Most people outside it don't. So we keep explaining. We tell the lead-up to the moment instead of the moment itself. We name the structure instead of describing the work. People don't need to know everything. That's not what makes someone lean in.
What the jargon is actually doing
The sector language isn't just a communication habit. For a lot of us, it became part of our identity. When you've worked in this space for years, the organisation, the mission, the purpose, it becomes who you are. But when that becomes the only language you have, the part that's just you gets lost. What you see, what you've learned, what you carry from the work. The thing that's yours, regardless of which organisation you're standing in. And the challenge multiplies when circumstances change. Redundancy, a new role, a new set of donors to convince. The less practice you've had speaking about yourself independently of your organisation, the harder those moments become. There's something else underneath all of this, too. People resist talking about themselves, especially in this sector. When you're part of an institution with a bigger mission, it can feel beside the point, even self-indulgent. Why talk about me when the work is so much bigger than me? But knowing who you are and what you contribute, and being unapologetic about it, doesn't take anything away from the institution. You can be fully part of an organisation and still be yourself within it. The two aren't in conflict. You are more than the place you work, whether you stay or whether you go.
And knowing yourself as a leader, understanding what you bring and why it matters, makes you more valuable. Not just to yourself. To any organisation you're part of, and to anything you go on to do.
What changes when you find it
I've seen it happen in workshops and in coaching. Someone stops reaching for the jargon, the acronyms, the backstory, and says something real instead. When you find that, something shifts. You feel more comfortable, because you're talking about yourself rather than about an institution. There's a different energy in that. You say enough that the other person wants to know more. They can actually hear you.
What it means for organisations
When people know how to talk about what they do and what they bring, organisations benefit in two ways. The first is obvious. When you invest in this while people are with you, they feel valued. They feel more confident in who they are as a contributor. And when people feel that, they stay. They're more engaged. Leaders understand their talent better. And when the financial pressure comes, as it always does in this sector, you have something stronger to hold onto. But there's something else. People leave. Redundancies happen, restructures happen, people move on. When someone's whole identity is wrapped up in the organisation, that leaving is devastating. The loss of the job becomes a loss of self. That devastation lasts. It shapes how they feel about the place long after they've gone. When people have found their own language, their own identity as a contributor, the leaving still hurts. They grieve the mission, the colleagues, the work. But they don't grieve themselves. And they might come back.That reputation matters. Especially on a platform like Impactpool, where organisations are looking to tap into talent. The
The question worth sitting with...
What do you want to be understood for?
Not your job title. Not your organisation. Not your programme.
What's the thing you want someone to walk away with, after spending time with you? That's where finding your language starts. It's a process, not a formula.
A process of working out what you want to communicate, and who you are outside of the organisation that's been your professional home. Most people in humanitarian and development work have never been asked those questions directly. That's why it takes so long to find the answers alone.
If this resonates
I built a framework specifically for this sector. It came from the inside, from my own experience and from working with people across humanitarian and development work. Nothing else I came across had been specifically designed for this kind of career. What you develop is yours to take anywhere, into any room, any context, any conversation.
I run a free 60-minute Finding Your Language workshop for people working in humanitarian and development contexts. It's a small-group session, and it starts exactly here: with the experience of not having your language and what becomes possible when you find it. Sign up for the free workshop
Linda Steinbock is the founder of Touching Distance, a leadership coaching practice for people working in and around the humanitarian sector. She spent thirteen years at Save the Children, including humanitarian deployments in 15 countries. She now works as a leadership coach with people in and around the sector, helping them find the language for who they are and what they bring. Find out more at touchingdistance.com